


Fuyu no Netsu (Wintry warmth)

by vogue91



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Angst, Anniversary, Cemetery, Character Death, Ficlet, Introspection, Love, M/M, Memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-29 20:23:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15081011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: Kei had always had a weird relationship with winter.He liked the snow, he liked the atmosphere, but he had never gotten along too well with the cold.





	Fuyu no Netsu (Wintry warmth)

It was snowing.

Kei had always liked snow.

Not that year.

He walked down the street, glimpsing at the traces left on the thing layer of snow whitening the sidewalk, and meanwhile he pondered.

The previous year, that same day, Kota had brought him for a week-end at an onsen.

It wasn’t much, he had said, but it had been all he had managed to do with their schedules.

Kei remembered to have smiled, happy, because those two days to spend together, far from worries, responsibilities and never seeing each other, was still more than he would've expected.

He remembered the car trip, how he had kept making fun of Kota for driving too slow, how relaxed he had felt there, with just the two of them, and to have thought he almost didn’t want to reach their destination.

It was just a couple of days, and like Yabu had said it wasn’t much, but he couldn’t remember to have ever felt so happy.

Kei had always had a weird relationship with winter.

He liked the snow, he liked the atmosphere, but he had never gotten along too well with the cold. And perhaps that was also a part of the reason why he remembered to have been so happy then, because he hadn't felt cold there, with Kota, in that small room of a ryokan where they had holed up, estranged by the rest of the world.

As if winter had disappeared, as if time had, and all that was left was the warmth of Kota’s skin on his own.

When he rummaged through his memories, that was the best one.

And maybe that was why he had chosen that particular day.

He kept walking, close to his goal, and he felt tears press to get out, despite the fact that he had decided not to cry.

When he finally arrived, his determination was put to the test.

Yabu’s name stood out on the  marble, under a picture where he was smiling.

Kei brushed his fingers on the stone, finding it frozen cold.

What had he expected?

It was still winter. And he didn’t have Kota’s arms to protect him from the cold anymore.

He knelt in front of the grave, touching it as if he was touching him.

Three hundred and sixty-five days since Kota had brought him to the onsen, three hundred and sixty-five days since he had felt so happy he had wanted to scream.

And a little less since the accident.

A few months.

But Kei had refused to go to the cemetery, he had refused to go there on such a sad memory, when all he wanted was to erase every day from the calendar; that was why he had chosen such a nice anniversary to finally go see him.

He blinked, but he knew he couldn’t do much about his tears.

And so he burst out crying.

He cried because Kota had left him alone, because every happy memory he had with him had been stained by the thought of his death, and because he had deprived him of the warmth of his arms on his body.

And now Kei was cold, too cold to bear it.

Without Kota next to him, winter could really be cruel to him.


End file.
